Yesterday I went for a walk in the city center and suddenly I saw a guy with sikha. I wasn’t sure if he was a devotee, nowadays sikha seems to be trendy. But then I almost stumbled over a table with Vaisnava books. I recognized some of Śrila Narayana Maharaja’s works. There were another two devotees sitting by the table, man and woman.
“Haribol” I said.
They turned to me with surprised smile and eyed me to check if this was “I met devotees on Glastonbury festival once Haribol”, or “I know what Haribol means Haribol”. The lady pointed at my neck beads.
“You’ve got Tulasi. Are you a devotee?” she asked.
“ Yes, I am”
“What’s your name?”
“Kalpataru. And yours, guys?”
“Oh, so nice! I am Ananga Manjari, this is Ananda Mohan, and my husband, Radha Raman. Who is your spiritual master?” she asked.
“Tripurari Swami” I answered. I admit, always when I say that, I just boast, I’m so proud of being Swami's disciple:)
Now they were all interested. It turned out that they all heard about Swami. And recently they heard from some of their godbrothers about their visit to guru maharaja’s ashram, and how much they liked it there.
I saw some interesting books, but I was broke, so I thought I couldn’t afford them, but then they told me that they were giving them for free. There was some devotee who had given big donation for this particular purpose – to distribute spiritual literature to people. When I heard that, at first I was bit worried about Gopi-gita or Sri Bhajana Rahasya being carried away by some unaware passerby Brit, but more then that I was just happy to get some of those books. I was especially excited about Jaiva-dharma, since I left my copy back home, in Poland.
The couple doesn’t live in Liverpool at the moment, but they are looking for a place to stay, so they will be moving shortly. We might do some Sunday programs together then. The third devotee, Ananda Mohan lives in Liverpool. As far as I understood, he is a disciple of one of the Puri Maharajas, but I’m not sure which one, I think maybe Srila B. V. Puri Maharaja.
It was a nice surprise. When the day before I met with those Iskcon brahmacaris, they were nice, but when I told them I was from outside of Iskcon, I could immediately feel the cautious distance. With Radha Raman, Ananga and Ananda I felt immediately welcome, as a part of greater Vaisnava family. I like that.
Today it's Sunday. I woke up pretty late, around eight. It’s that I watched Suits till late (TV shows addiction:). At any rate I got up, did some tough exercises, to shake off the sleep, then chanted, then went to do some shopping (I got twenty quid from a friend to help me out with groceries), cooked huge pot of spaghetti bolognaise (extra olive oil, extra cheddar and too much chili), which I shared with my housemate, and then I went to the Radha Krishna temple. I picked some flowers on the way from someone's garden, they smelled so nice, and bought a pear, so I wouldn't come empty-handed.
The temple was more busy then usually, I guess because of Sunday. I sat in the corner and chanted some rounds, looking at the deities. It was nice. At one point I thought that I’m complaining a lot about not being looked after by Krishna, sometimes feeling completely left to myself, but it struck me: in spite of all my indifference, laziness and everything, I’m still sitting here, in front of Krishna and Radhika, with japa beads in my hand, spiritual master who I have faith in, my mind relatively peaceful and I try to pray with my heart. I just felt that I had got much more then I deserved. In spite of everything, Krishna is looking after me, giving me much more, then I give to him. I just felt grateful, and this is one of the most beautiful feelings to have, I wish I had it always.
Then there was Siva bhajan. I prayed to Siva to destroy my false ego, I read recently in Sacinandana Maharaja’s diary that this is what Vaisnavas can pray to him. Then some katha started, but it was in Hindi, and I heard the word “brahman” too frequently for my taste, so I walked out.
I walked home in the pouring rain, listening to guru maharaja’s lecture, where brahman wasn’t mentioned much, but Krishna all the time:)
One thing moved me very much in that talk (I think it was the second one of the Catuh-śloka series from this year). Someone asked about Krishna not hearing our prayers, because he’s so involved with his Vrindavana pastimes. Guru maharaja explained that in Dvaraka Krishna is all-knowing, but sometimes he asks Uddhava something, which means that his all-knowing is from time to time suppressed. In Vrindavana there is an opposite situation – for the most part Krishna’s all-knowing is covered, however not completely and not always. So he can hear sadhaka’s prayers! Not Paramatma, but Krishna! What you say about that?
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